Seriously People

May 6, 2009


I hate how I feel, and how I act. I try to control it but I can not. It is like someone else has inhibited my body. I hate being mad and miserable ALL THE TIME. I hate not feeling, and not caring. I hate hurting those who are around me by my words. I hate the thoughts that are in my head. I hate being angry.

One year later, you would think that I would feel better or think about something else. I am frustrated with my doctor. I don’t feel like she cares, and to be honest she probably doesn’t. I do not know why people choose their specialties. They should know what kind of patients they are going to be dealing with prior to stepping foot into the field. I do not like my doctor’s defensive attitude. I do not care if she is the doctor, I am the patient, and I am inferior to her. I do not care if she doesn’t feel that she needs to answer my questions, they WILL BE ANSWERED. If not by her, I will find some other doctor that will care.

My levels have to be off. I do not know how a doctor can order medication for a patient and then not follow up. They change my dose, and brand. (all of the sudden two months ago, my doctor decided that she wants all of her cancer patients on brand name only. HAVE I NOT BEEN A CANCER PATIENT FOR OVER A YEAR) WTF MAN?!
So she changed me to brand name, and dosage, then she doesn’t order follow up blood work. I have been on this dose for close to 8 weeks, and I had to call and ask for a script. I have felt horrible since the dose was changed. I am supposed to go see her in another five weeks; I was supposed to wait to have my blood work in four more weeks. Honestly, someone might die in that period if they do not do something about my levels soon.